The year did not start on the best of notes, I have been antsy and pensive about an event, thankfully it is over but the amount of effort and stress I endured over it, was really not all that worth it.

I was so riled up by the happenings that I lost myself for a moment. I was back to being the angry and scary one of yesterdays. To top it all off, the hubs was recalled to practice guarding our little isle and so I was left to my own devices, no calming, centering voice of reason in sight. Hence the crazy shenanigans. Thankfully it is all over and not only can I close a chapter in my life, I can banish the scary one of yesterdays back to where she should be and must stay.

It was so bad that when the dar came back from his recall, I was still fuming. Not good, seeming it was not to do with him. Oh well, there is always collateral damage in all means of warfare, no matter how unwilling a party we are to it.

Perhaps, the year has started in such a way that has enabled me to see clearly who my real frens are and to remind me to be appreciative of them and also to remind myself that I am just not cut out to be the type of person who can smile and speak words of flattery to a person who has done so many vindictive things time and again.


I feel a great sense of relief that I can finally put this issue to rest and I am trying hard not to bitch about it anymore. Well, like I said, I'm still trying.

人在做, 天在看.

I have been so lazy with my postings of late that I have a huge backload of pics and posts to upload. Sept was great tho. The Big day went well and then our minimoon to relaxation and back for the Big Race. It was fun. Think they each deserve a post of their own and I will do them justice with one each, in due time.

Since the BIG day, life has been rather slouth like for me and the dar. This is no good. I think we have both been buzzed out from the excitement and activity of everything, such that we are like really tired and limboed out. Time on the other hand still continues to fly by, such that we are blown away that we are into December and that the year 2009 as we know it, is coming to and end.

Annoyingly, my travel plans have been derailed by the Japanese who have to close for the new year so I am effectively stuck on this island. I am not pleased. Was really look forward to going somewhere, to stretch my legs and have a good walkabout. Have been feeling rather restless and listless of late. Not my usual OCD self at all. Shopping has lost it's lusture for me. Believe it or not, a weekend of shopping failed to score a single pair of shoes nor anything else for myself. Although I must say my Xmas shopping is well on track. Ok, not completely off my OCD self.

This weekend will be filled with work related outings. Well, at least we'll be doing something. Hopefully we can squeeze in a leisurely bike ride, hope the weather holds.

My urge to post often hits me when I am walking along, in the loo, or on the train. Most of the times, it is when I have no access to the internet. This would explain the dirth in posts of late, I have no idea why but the feeling to write has eluded me when I actually sit down to type. When I walk on the other hand, the thoughts flood my brain but alas, I am not able to do anything with them.

A wedding is never just about two people. More often than not, it involves many people, even more often than not, it involves many people who have had their own wedding, but have decided to relive theirs through yours. It's amazing how people can take claim to someting that is totally and wholly not theirs. Unbelieveble even more so that they make no apologies for it. Much as I welcome your FEEDBACK, the ultimate decision belongs to us, the bride and groom. Now, why is that so hard to understand.

The thing that I Love And Hate

I've concluded, I cannot save the crazies from themselves.

tired

I am so drained, there are so many thoughts swimming in my head.
I am so tired, so sick of all the things that have been happening, so tired of all the fighting and pretence, so fed up with listening to the nonsense that is being said. I am so tired.

I have a wedding to plan. I have a job to keep. I have a life to lead.
I dun need this right now, or ever for that matter.
I dun need you and your negativity raining down on my life.
I dun need you and your so called, good intentions, telling me that everyone in this world aside from urself is out to get me.
I dun need u telling me how u want everything this way and that when it isn't even ur day.
I dun need u and ur emotional blackmails and pity parade when u know I'm not budging from what I say.
I dun need u waving money in my face using it as another bargaining chip.
I dun need your skewed life philosophies and selfish life lessons that seek to self glorify.
I dun need to u tell me how to lead my life.

I have choices to make, risks to take, mistakes to uncover and adventures to experience. Just like everyone else.